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Journal.Kim —A Metasystem Experiment

It gets easier. Every day it gets a little easier. But you gotta do it every day, that’s the hard part. But it does get easier.
—Bojack Horseman

Sixteen: Now is Now

 | #sixteenth-week

Week Sixteen! This was a pretty big week for me. I built my first website from scratch, a web portfolio for myself. It’s still a bit of a prototype–I gave myself only 3 weeks to complete it.

Of course, Beeminder is on the homepage. I’m sort of using my system embeds as a means of a “Now” page, an idea that Derek Sivers came up with. Sure, it’s useful to display all your accolades and past accomplishments, but what are you currently doing? What’s being worked towards?

On the topic, I was listening to an audiobook that had the quote now is now. That’s all there ever is for us, really. There’s no point in ruminating on the past or being anxious about the future. We are always stuck in the present, and might as well make the most of what we have.

I know that sounds like a corny (and obvious) platitude, but there are moments when I really feel like I’m snapping into the moment, like I’m coming up for air from underwater, gasping in somewhat-horror that I was underneath for so long without realizing it.

Even with all the pokes, prod, and reminders that Beeminder gives me to do good every single day, I still find myself managing to get stuck on autopilot and waste time mindlessly.

I’ve been ramping up a lot of my different Beeminds, as I find that if I’m in the red for something, I’ll do it 100% of the time, but really just neglect a task entirely if I give myself a safety buffer. I’m getting closer to having an ideal daily routine that I can feel good about.

I feel like there’s a paradox that, even though I’m juggling a lot of different systems, there’s plenty of time still left where I can afford to do nothing. Maybe I need to step up even more, but I’m still trying to figure out what that’d look like.

Current Issues:

  • Idea Generation: I have no idea how to really beemind ideation. It’s a tricky and somewhat nebulous concept.
    • Ideally, I’d like to collect and curate interesting things (hence my new /collection system).
    • I think it’s very important to be mindful of the fact that creative output requires creative input, which is a reason why I’ve been reading more.
    • But there’s something paradoxical and counter-intuitive of trying to mechanically capture that at a set amount of time.
  • Analogue Writing: I want to write more on paper, like a lot more, but I don’t see a way of making myself do that.
    • A manual input goal isn’t really working because it’s so easy to fabricate. Is there a way to hack that?
    • And, that’s also one of those things that I want to do less if I need to do it. Maybe I’m just being dramatic.

I’ve also noticed that the #1 indicator of failure for me is social pressure. I’ll stay up late and essentially ruin my sleep schedule just to hang out with friends, or waste money ordering (usually unhealthy) food. I need to be more strict with myself and others. I need to actually live out and apply these principles.

(P.S. Didn’t know where to put this, but I actually had a possibly-good idea: Imagine if you could sync your sleep tracker with your phone’s audio so it’d automatically pause whatever you were listening to when it detected you fell asleep. Anyone do that yet?)