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Journal.Kim —A Metasystem Experiment

It gets easier. Every day it gets a little easier. But you gotta do it every day, that’s the hard part. But it does get easier.
—Bojack Horseman

Twenty-Eight: Limits and Arbitary

 | #twenty-eighth-week

Week Twenty-eight! Well, after talking about it for quite a few weeks, I finally finished the majority of work redesigning my website this Labour Day weekend. I look forward to dedicating my time working on little projects again, hehe.

I am afraid of this Beejournal getting rather boring, as I haven’t had any new systems in awhile. I spoke last week about experimenting with new things, but I’m not really sure where to start. I’m honestly a little worried about causing a disturbance in the equilibrium, if you will.

There are two things I want to discuss though, and that’s limitations and arbitrariness.

When I first moved to my new place, I was worried about having too much time and energy. I’ve found these to be a rather detrimental to my psychology towards work. Working hard and producing my best work has happened in environments where I’ve had the most restrictions–be it a slow, perhaps sentimental computer, no internet connection, a lack of time, etc.

When there’s limitations, I don’t feel the overwhelming pressure of trying to produce my best work because of those limitations and the restrictions they bring. I can only do the best I can. Thus I have to give myself permission to do as much as I can with reckless abandon.

But when I have all the ducks lined-up in a row, everything set up, then there is no excuse. I have to produce my best work. That can cause me to avoid trying to do any work at all.

Luckily, as I grow older, the lesser that self-defeating barrier that becomes. I remind myself of a line from the poem Desiderata by Max Ehrmann that goes:

“You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.”

I can only do the best I can, no matter what, and I ought to try to and do that, just because.

Now, onto the topic arbitrary things. I’ve seen other Beeminder users talk about changing to default midnight deadline to something earlier. This is obviously more sensible, as it’s extremely uncommon for someone to want to work until that late.

But I know that would be detrimental for me. If I allow the deadlines of goals to be 7pm, or 7am, then it’s just an arbitrary number that my weasel-monkey mind could change to whatever is most convenient for me.

The only time of the day that is arguably objective, and not arbitrary, is midnight. Since that’s when the day is over, obviously. It may seem silly, but little fixed rules like that is really the only way I’m capable of getting anything done at all.