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Journal.Kim —A Metasystem Experiment

It gets easier. Every day it gets a little easier. But you gotta do it every day, that’s the hard part. But it does get easier.
—Bojack Horseman

Forty: Intentionality

 | #fortieth-week

Week Forty! I cannot believe that it’s the final month of the year. there’s been such a weird fluctuation of things going by too quickly and also dragging on at other times.

Unintentionally, I chose a rather interesting year to conduct this experiment–I have been fortunate with the amount of flexibility and freedom I’ve had to try new things, but also have had the most difficulty holding myself accountable and doing the work that I ought to precisely because of that.

I’m afraid I’ve become too comfortable with my current routine. The longer you do something, the easier it becomes, which means the less critical thinking it requires. At this point, I can breeze through a dozen beemergencies late into the night with relative ease. But what am I actually gaining from that? The beginner has the burden and luxury of requiring complete attention and focus to the task at hand.

I have been slowly trying to form a framework for more intentional living in general, with an emphasis on consumption synthesis, or rather, forming interesting and novel output (my own projects) from carefully selected input (the content that I consume daily).

Perhaps another reason for this complacency is a lack of intentionality: To what end result am I performing these Beeminder tasks for? Sure, I’m learning French each day, but for what practical usability? Or sure, I’m writing 400 words daily, but what is that cultivating towards?

The only way any of this matters is if I put the hard work into it. But this is not as simple as just upping the numbers and amount of time I’m putting into something, it is a qualitative issue, not a quantitative one.

I am not exactly sure what the solution is, but I think just being often mindful that it’s a problem is a good place to start. A more practical example is that I’m starting a hand-written journal in French, which seems to be a popular method for better learning.

In other more exciting news, after hearing me speak of Beeminder for several moons, my partner has gained enough curiosity to join and try Beeminder out! So I can at least add that as the (currently sole) victory to my constant evangelizing.