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Journal.Kim —A Metasystem Experiment

It gets easier. Every day it gets a little easier. But you gotta do it every day, that’s the hard part. But it does get easier.
—Bojack Horseman

Fifteen: Hurt and Healing

 | #fifteenth-week

Week Fifteen! This has been an difficult week, full of pain and hurt–and attempts at healing. In my non-coding time I’ve been figuring out ways to best help the BIPOC community, I helped make a small, local resource list, specifically on trying to find some sort of semblance of healing or peace.

I think the most difficult part is recognizing that this isn’t novel or out of nowhere–only this intensity of response from others. I feel regret not being as involved in activism as I ought to be, particularly being an indigenous person in Canada.

There’s a sense of ease when doing things in a logical, Matryoshka-esque order. In theory, only focusing on myself at first, then my community, then the world at large. I am a layman, and have no expertise or academic insight to share. I lack confidence and a sense of competency trying to make big changes when I feel like I don’t have my own personhood set in order.

But, of course, when is anybody ever actually completely functional? There is no end destination, nor is there any objective criteria that you can reference. At the very best, we can all only do what we think is right. Talk isn’t enough–I do not care of what others think of my personal meritocracy–meaningful intent and thorough action is the only thing that matters.

New Systems

  • /weight: Again, switching it from a manual input to automatic through FitBit in order to integrate the data with the rest of the fitness suite.
  • /weightcheck: A manual, daily check-in for measuring my weight. I know you’re not supposed to weigh-in that often, but I figure the more data, the more insight. I don’t really have any feeling about this one way or another, either.
  • /collection: A new, experimental system that I’m going to be trying, where I put anything interesting that I find as a data input, as a way to try to be more cohesive with my curation of interests.